It is a quiet evening. As summer reaches an end and autumn descends, I look back on this half-year and feel an uncanny nausea at my growth. This series of half-sane thoughts is the affadavit to this spasmatic journey, so that I might bring the surreality of life closer to earth. I have a bad habit of tearing off too many bandages at once. An upbringing of suffering screams to be rid of it all as fast as you can. To vomit and be free from the poison of a traumatic youth. But I have learned the antidote only works in small, continuous, doses. A bell rings every thirty seconds, rebalancing my thoughts, bringing me closer to a state of meditation. I have learned that writing is closer to remembering than it is to devising. Sometimes remembering is painful. I have learned love is a four letter word that dances on your lips and then is lost. I think God is a humorous being. That he laughs at our failures, and I think that after looking up at him and cursing in disbelief a few times I have finally learned to join in this laughter. And this laughter, this great tool of humanity, is the best way to rewrite one’s destiny. 🙏