After a few days of depression, I am slowly clawing my place back to a normal baseline. I've been here enough that I know what I should do to help me heal, look onwards, and grow. (I think it's an interesting response I have, to always consider myself some kidn of lab experiment, to determine the best path or wokflow to optimize my life. To some extent it can be useless, as you just have to sit in the murk, but it doesn't hurt to identify things that *might* help you and take that action if your energy permits. Anyways, this is what is getting me out: 1. Hydrate, eat, have multivitamins. Fix sleep routine.. 2. Rinse my sinus (Seriously, can you imagine getting out of a depressive episode WITHOUT BREATHING PROPERLY?) 3. WRITE 1. This is crucial. I'm sure there are multiple factors contributing to the crash, but among them was that I was not writing. I began writing again, and that contributed positively to my mood as seen since: [[2025-08-26 Life]]. 2. I think it’s because writing makes me feel less lonely, while also making me feel fulfilled. 4. Workout 1. Tough but if I can manage it, the mind begins to settle when the body becomes less stiff. Circulation helps too. Also a sense of achievement. Many compounding things. 5. Play video games 1. Good ones, like Bloodborne. Escaping into art that is crafted meticulously well reminds me of my own purpose. 6. Remember the people who love and accept me no matter what. Who see me in my weird, my stupidity, my arrogance, my foolishness, and still love me. Who still *see* me. Yesterday morning I slowly crouched back to my baseline optimism, and though the angst of life still brings me down a little, I knew I was getting better and that I should not give up. And then I was notified that one my films got funded. FUCK YEAH BABY! IT'S HAPPENING! [[Borders, 202X?]] ![[57EB38A2-7A1C-4C31-897E-FA3670CB0A61_4_5005_c.jpeg]]